So I’ve had kind of a rough week. Not running-wise, but life-wise. I’ve felt really frustrated and overwhelmed about a number of things and just wound tighter than normal. I haven’t had a lot of patience and just overall “blah.” Yesterday after work it really came to a head– I was riding my bike home and just started bawling (for no reason. Seriously, guys- be glad you aren’t a girl!).
I had some miles left (3-5) and was dreading them. My morning run was stiff and exhausting and after my day I was in no mood for a bad run. But, I had a conversation with myself about being self-disciplined and put on my running clothes. And then I laid on my couch and watched Top Chef, haha. But then I went running.
I felt great. I didn’t have my watch on but I know I was cooking– maybe even LT pace. I should have been taking it easy, but pounding out how I felt was just too wonderful to stop. Suddenly I reminded myself, “oh yeah. I know who I am out here. I know what to do. I feel strong and tough and… myself.” Whereas all day I’d felt floaty and weird and overwhelmed. Running grounded me.
I think it’s so easy to get absorbed in your goal. To think, “OMG I ran 2 secs/mile slower than I should have on this interval and it hurt and I’m sore and this sucks and why do I do this and I’m tired…” But running is so much more than that. It’s the ability to literally run off what’s bugging you, to get some space and perspective and to just space out, put the blackberry down, listen to some tunes and be quiet for awhile. And I’m so glad to have that outlet.
I got home and suddenly, I felt ok. I had perspective and a better attitude. I didn’t freak out over nothing. And that, my friends, is why I do this.
And oh yeah, I ran 70 miles this week. One peak week down, 2 to go. And you know what? I feel GREAT.