Disclaimer: Ok, so I have a confession to make: I have an overactive imagination. And sometimes when I’m running, need to fall asleep or have time on my hands I make up stories. Always have, always will. Now, this post is TOTALLY embarrassing but this is my blog and so if I want to let the freak flag out then well, I’m going to. Also I’m tapering and have a LOT of energy. Also, I ran between 60 and 70 miles per week for three months which left me a lot of time for thinking and dreaming crap up. And sometimes when I’m running I pretend that I’m a character in a movie. I know. I’m incredibly lame. But it’s fine. I embrace this.
Rachel and I spend a lot of time discussing various things on gchat: running, boys, how I want a book deal, food, running, boys, literature, boys… you get the idea. Last year when we were apparently on drugs, really bored or both, we hatched the idea for a fabulous movie. Now, if you are a big shot Hollywood producer and reading this, please don’t steal my idea. This has a time stamp, I have a lot of friends who are lawyers and I’ll sue you, thanks. Actually, if you’re a big shot Hollywood producer and you’re reading this, I judge you. Get back to work. Surely you have piles of crappy manuscripts written by waiters and barristas waiting for you.
Ok, so the title of our film is “Love on the Run” and it’s comprised a little bit from actual mishaps I’ve had and a lot from my overactive imagination that I need to channel somewhere productive. Side note: my writing stories based on real life is nothing new. Apparently when I was 8 I used to write murder mysteries about my classmates– but don’t worry. I was always the victim so I didn’t make anyone mad. Annnnnnyway.
So, in order to do so she joins a local running club. Now, as only happens in the movies, one of the coaches at the running club is amazing. Good looking, encouraging, super fast runner, smart… and Jenn freaks out. She can’t have Hot Michael thinking that she’s a middle of the pack runner! So Jenn decides that it’s time to get fast.
Now, this being the movies, Jenn can’t just meet Michael, shake his hand, go to coffee and fall in love. Of course not! So one hot Sacramento summer day, and one of Jenn’s first practices with the club, they’re all running on a levee by the river (no shade of course) and Michael calls for a tempo run. Jenn tries to show off and hang with the front pack. Of course she’s not ready to do this yet and ends up on the side of the path heaving and sweating… Michael walks up to check on her and what should happen? She pukes. (Side note: sound familiar???) She’s mortified, but since Michael’s a runner and runners are freaks, he thinks it’s really hot. But obviously since Jenn is one of his runners and he doesn’t want to shake up the team, he just treats her like anyone else: “Buck up, you’re almost there!”
Months go by (and here I imagine a montage set to “Stronger” by Kanye West and also “Every Mile a Memory” by Dierks Bentley where Jenn does a lot of running alone, in the dark, in the rain, in the heat, on the track, on hills… you get the picture. Think of how you picture yourself on your hardest core runs in your favorite running outfit) and lo and behold, Jenn gets faster. Finally, after a half-marathon (and I’d imagine the producers would want to shoot this during the Cowtown Half Marathon) Jenn and Michael finally start talking! Jenn had a fairly frustrating race and tells Michael she wants to BQ. Sensing an opportunity, Michael offers to coach her! And go running! Jenn’s initially pretty hesitant because he’s such a good runner and so intimidating (despite being lovely) but agrees.
Here: cue a bunch of cute scenes of Michael coaching Jenn with sly high-fives, longer than necessary post-workout breakfasts and a lot of laughing and general good times.
Cut to marathon training season. Michael writes a program for Jenn that is crazy hard. She doesn’t think she can do it (we go to the same montage but this time Michael is running WITH her, calling splits on the track, riding his bike next to her and giving her water, etc) but steadily improves. Of course a movie isn’t a movie without some conflict so they fight in the middle. He’s pushing too hard, she has a day job, he’s mad she doesn’t trust him, etc. And finally, it’s race day! CIM of course. Jenn’s ready. She runs CIM and sees Michael at Mile 10 and 20 and at mile 20, starts to come apart. [is that a double?] She doesn’t think that she can make it to the finish– she’s about 10 seconds behind and needs to pick up the pace.
So, Michael jumps in the race with her and paces her to a Boston-qualifying marathon! And at the finish line (and because he’s a coach he has the hookups) she gets her medal, looks down and there’s a ring on her medal! Then, when she turns around, Michael is on one knee proposing.
I know. I need a life. But this cracked me up and I thought it might crack you up too.