Forgive me, readers. I’ve sinned. I haven’t blogged or written about my runs in a roughly a week. I know, terrible. There hasn’t been much to report. I spent most of last week super sore from the trail race and trying my best not to fall apart. I succeeded and basically feel back to normal.
Although I didn’t do traditional speed work last week, I’ve been working on finding joy in every run. When it hurts, when it’s hard, when it’s beautiful and when I want to stop I want to find the joy in every run. Whether it’s the joy knowing that you’ve poured every physical ounce of yourself possible or the indescribable elation when you break through and accomplish something you’ve been working hard to acheive- I want to feel joyful about it.
I read through my posts about training for CIM last year and while I learned a ton, am so glad I did what I did and worked so hard I was missing joy. I trained so hard that I sucked all the love for running that I feel out of my training. I didn’t enjoy the transition from summer to fall when the air feels impossibly crips and beautiful and didn’t enjoy running in some truly beautiful places. Instead I focused on speed, cadence, pressure, race times and workouts. While I’m still focusing on that I want to work through that difficulty and to really love running. Because that’s what started all this- I loved it.
Having a year “off” (if you count 50 miles per week off…) has been amazing. I’ve run without pressure and worked hard without expectation. While I haven’t had an amazing breakthrough performance or PR’d in awhile I have enjoyed myself running more than I have in quite some time. It’s not about times, miles or placing (although I work on that still) but it’s about joy and freedom.
I’m still racing, still competing… because the drive to do my best is what makes me love running but I want to remember that the purpose of hte hard work is joy– not pressure.
This morning I ran a HORRIBLE, hilly route (I’m clearly not at home!) and while challenging, I found the joy in knowing that together with the trail race, this would likely make me stronger. It wans’t great, but I got it done.
I’m looking forward to end of summer/early fall running. It’s one of my favorite seasons- the temps drop, races are plentiful and the carefree breeze of summer fades to the structure and routine of fall.
Sorry this is so random but they’re some 3/4s formed thoughts that have been rolling around in my head!