I feel like an athlete again…

I had such a solid week of training. I ran 64 miles including a solid 18-miler, a tempo run, intervals and plenty of easy miles in between. And I feel pretty darn good. I guess now would be as good of a time as any to let people in on a little secret–  I intend to run CIM again this year. I was keeping it on the down low because I still may have to throw the idea away due to work commitments but after this week I feel pretty good that I just might pull it off. I’m not going to try and qualify for Boston or put any pressure or time goals on myself. My goals are simple: have fun racing and leave nothing on the course.

That all said, I may still have to forget about this so… take from it what you will. But I have a 16, 17 and now 18 miler under my belt and I’m feeling good.

I ran Friday after work and one of those runs that reminds me why I love to run so much. It wasn’t great weather (super muggy), I didn’t run anywhere new and I didn’t intend to have a good run but I just did. The sun set and before I knew it I was flying through the dark, looking at the stars and so happy to be alive. Loved it.

This morning I tackled 18 miles and was VERY nervous to do so. This is the longest I’ve run since CIM last year and I was nervous I’d run out of steam. Although it was extremely muggy and raining at times this morning I felt good for the majority of the run. In fact, without trying I negative split the run with my last mile my fastest. It was a great reminder that I do know how to do this and that my body isn’t totally useless afterall 🙂 In fact, I could have kept running once I completed the 18. But I didn’t!

Although I’m taking training equally seriously as last year I’m not putting as much pressure on myself. I got so worked up and so nervous about the race last year that I didn’t enjoy my experience- not the training, not the race, nothing. Well, a few training runs were really fun but the majority were terrifying. I don’t want to do that again. Being an athlete isn’t my job and if I don’t enjoy this, it’s time to stop. So while I’m going to work very, very hard to ensure I have a good race I’m not freaking out. I’m just not. I know how to do this, what works, what doesn’t and that’s what I’ll do 🙂

All that said, I do feel like my athlete self again this week. Although I’ve been doing the work, I’ve been missing the focused feeling and the fire in my belly to work as hard as I can. I didn’t intentionally flip the switch this week, but I felt much more like myself. More willing to suffer, to work hard and to do what I need to do. And that’s a good thing.

As the engraving on my new ipod says: citius, altius, fortius… stronger, higher faster. It’s time. Let’s go.