As I’m sure everyone can tell (all 2 of you who are still reading…) my life has totally spiraled out of control. In 3 weeks I get my life back, but for now, things are insane. Like, I can barely find time to eat or use the restroom. I can still run (and 6 days a week I am) but really I work, run and sleep. Sometimes.
Initially I thought I could make CIM work and I thought I wanted to. And really, if I really wanted to, I could. But to be honest? I don’t want to. So I’m pulling the plug. Since Cowtown I’ve been dealing with some nagging injuries (none of it serious but I can’t really do speed work) and some serious motivation issues. I think in our lives we only have the capacity and energy for so much discipline and right now, other things are taking that energy.
For me, running a marathon isn’t about running 26.2 miles. If I had to, I could probably do that tomorrow. To me it’s about putting your heart and soul into a training program that will allow you to be the best runner you can be at the start of the marathon. I don’t want to run it just to run it. I’ve run CIM twice and while I absolutely love it, if I cant respect the distance and give it everything I’ve got, I’m not going to waste my time, energy and money.
The thought of running 20 miles this weekend makes me want to cry. I’d have to get up at 4:45 AM and honestly I don’t have time to recover and be spacey after (like I tend to be after super long runs). Plus, during the week I’m not eating as well as I should be and I’m definitely not sleeping as much as I’d need to in order to properly recover from training paces.
I’m totally at peace with my decision. There’s always next year or next Spring or the year after that. It’s not like I’m hanging up my running shoes… I’m just taking the pressure of a big run out of the equation right now. Do I think I’m a super human badass? Yeah, I do. Am I? No.
In the meantimes, for the next few weeks if I’m a bit quiet, forgive me. I’ll be back soon 🙂