After a botched atempt at a 5k on Thanksgiving and a couple of rough-ish long runs I have come to the conclusion that I have a LOT of work to do to get myself back in shape. It’s not that I think my body isn’t ready for it, but I think my mind isn’t. I’m just incapable of suffering for the greater good like I used to be.
Last year I was able to hammer out workouts and force myself to do things that are difficult with little problem. I was really mentally tough. For some reason whenever I try to suffer now I just can’t. Or won’t. I don’t really know. And it’s frustrating. I’m not THAT out of shape, really, but I am out of contention for any kind of PR or PR atempt and will be unless I do something about it.
To be honest, I lack the will to want to be better. Which isn’t good! I don’t like feeling a bit slower and I don’t like not working hard but I also keep finding reasons NOT to work harder. And I even have race goals! I want to know where the girl who would hammer through the worst workouts in pouring rain and wind went!
I think the solution is to stop talking about it, accept where I am and, as Nike says so well, just do it. Or in my case, just do it already! I know how to work hard, I know what works for me and what doesn’t, I just need to apply it. It’s not going to get better by whining about being un-fast. And that’s just true!